Just As I Am

Kevin James Mattatall, age 43

2009-10-21T15:38:00.005-04:00

Kevin passed away today. My heart is so sad. I will miss him and think of him often. I pray that God gives his family strength and peace in the days and weeks to come.

It's never easy letting someone go. You want them here with you. Your heart feels like it's been ripped in two.

This life is like a blink of the eye compared to the eternity we will spend on the other side. Those who trust and believe will see Kevin again, of that I am sure!

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father, but by me. In my Father's house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself. For where I am, there you may be also."

I believe Kevin is in the place God has prepared for him. We will see him again!

Rest in Peace, Kevin.

To my friend, Kevin...

2009-10-18T00:09:00.007-04:00

My friend Kevin, who I met online almost 12 years ago, is fighting for his life in a hospital in Canada. After several battles with cancer, the cancer has finally taken over and he isn't expected to live but a few days. I spent the first few days crying, every time I thought of him, and now I'm left with the memories of our chats and his blog posts. I never met Kevin in person, nevertheless, he's still my friend. I've laughed with him, joked with him, and I've been angry at him. I understand that those who are his family and friends who know him personally, know him best. The things I say here today are from my experiences with the Kevin I know, the Kevin he chose to show me.

Our converstaions usually started with catching up on each others family. He'd always ask about my children. He'd always comment about our ages and how things are getting crazier in this world. The conversation usually gravitated toward God. I felt like Kevin was searching for something, even though he swore he had it all figured out and didn't need any God in his life. Even though he sometimes said he didn't believe, I knew that deep down he did, and he would sometimes slip in a "Marsha, I really do believe" now and again. It made me feel good when he said that he had been going to church, in one of his blog posts.

I believe that when Kevin passes from this life to the next, he will be in the presence of our Lord. (And then he'll realize that I was right and have a good "larf". lol) He will be greeted by those that went before him, especially his dad.

Kevin is different from alot of people I know. He is a little on the "odd" side. Somtimes I had trouble following his train of thought and had to ask questions to figure him out, lol. He is a smart, crazy, complicated, frustrating at times, nut! lol. He cares tremendously about his family, especially his young nephew, Julian. He loves that boy like he was his own. I hope and pray that Julian holds tight to the memories of his silly uncle. I wish I had more than these memories to add to the memory book the family is putting together for Julian.

I will miss Kevin alot and wish like hell I could be there by his side to say goodbye. My heart is breaking for him and for his family that will be left to go on without him.

Kevin, This life is short compared to what's to come. I will see you face to face one day and I will hug you and thank you for being my friend. I hope there's a bicycle waiting for you and a pair of sunglasses. I'm sure we'll find you one day hanging out with your dad and making jokes that no one else gets, lol.

To Kevin's family, I hope and pray that God gives you the strength and peace you will need for the days ahead. This life is but a vapor on the wind, compared to the eternity we will have once we pass on. This is not the end...it's only the beginning....

This poem was in Thursday's paper. My son's 16 year old friend was killed in a car accident and this poem was read at his memorial by his mother.

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
And each time you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand.

He said my place is ready, in heaven far above,
and that I have to leave behind, All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for, so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I realized, that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldy things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home,
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you.
Today for life on earth is past, but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
And since each day is the same day, there's no longing for the past.

Because you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true,
Though there were times you did some things, you knew you shouldn't do,
You have been forgiven and now at last you're free,
So won't you take my hand, and share my life with me?"

So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I'm right there in your heart.

jeesh...

2009-09-08T20:11:00.001-04:00

I miss internet access at home!

This country crap is annoying.

Kevin!

2009-08-14T23:51:00.002-04:00

Hi..glad to hear you're still around. I'm typing this on my mother's computer. I can access the log in page from my phone.

Write me at Marsha6814@yahoo.com.

Take care,

M.

Alive and Well and STILL w/o internet access at home...

2009-07-16T13:23:00.003-04:00

I'm sitting at my mothers house, which smells like a cat, trying to hurry so the smell doesn't take up permanent residence in my nose. I also have a car full of groceries.

I realized the other day that I've not posted here in ages...so...here's a quick recap:

Amanda just got her Real Estate License.

Greg had prostate Surgery on 6/9 and is on the mend.

Thomas had his tonsils removed 4 wks ago today and is strep free!

I got strep throat right before that and lost 10lbs from not being able to eat...AND have managed to keep it off! weeeee!

Shawn has his surgery tomorrow. His "growth" under his chin is now 2 centimeters wide and needs to come out. I'm worried about this one.

I have been having dental (gum) issues for three days and got news today that it possibly is related to diabetes. I have to have labs drawn next week. GREAT.

I was promoted again (did I say that already?) in February and am STILL learning my job duties. It's been rough.

Thomas is going to be baptized soon. He "accepted Christ into his life" as we baptists say, yesterday at vacation bible school. To Aunt D....I'll keep you posted on that date.

Chris is struggling...but found a part time job. Now if he could get his car repaired...

I saw my grandson, Jacob, last week and he's as cute as ever!

I have been thinking about Kevin lately....K, are you out there?

I dont have internet access at home (and prob. never will) because my choices are wireless 3G (I'm clueless about that) or Hughes Net which i hears sucks. I even tried DIAL UP but it wouldn't stay connected! I give up.

That's about it...

toodles.

Indescribable...Chris Tomlin

2009-04-26T12:52:00.001-04:00

Where were you on Friday the 13th, 1981?

2009-04-16T15:09:00.006-04:00

I was at the movies making out with a boy with whom I'd just met. His name was Tom Miller and I was instantly smitten. My best friend Karen introduced us. One month later we were "going together" and 6 months later I found myself pregnant.

Long story short, I had a baby, Tom went to college. He saw our son twice. Once when he was 2 weeks old and once when he was 11 months old. After that, POOF! Gone like the wind.

4 years later we managed to find him and have him served with papers to terminate his parental rights as my then new husband was adopting Chris and giving him his last name. By not contesting the adoption, he gave his permission and went on about his life.

End of story.

Until now.

Chris, who is now almost 27, has been wanting to find his father and has made a few attempts via the internet. I have been doing the same, never really thinking that I'd get anywhere. Well, two days ago I found him.

Wow.

The thoughts, feelings, emotions that I thought were over and done with came flooding back. Not feelings for him, mind you, just feelings about the whole situation and how one boy's careless decision altered my life for ever. I am trying very hard to not make this about me, but it's hard not to.

He was able to graduate with his class. He went on to college. I raised a child. He persued his dream while I was at home having dreams of being back in school, always with a class schedule in my hand, always trying to find my way...I never could. I'd wake up and feel like I was cheated. No idea where high school friends were. No class reunion to go to. I got my GED. My diploma came in a mail box. No hand shake. No pictures. No family cheering me on. No party. No memories.

I worked for $4.15/hr and used it to pay for health insurance so I didn't have to stay on welfare. My dreams went up in smoke. I was a single mother. A poor single mother. I took handouts from people at church. My son wore hand-me-downs instead of new clothes. I was both mother and father. It was hard. But what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I grew up. I moved on. I got over it.

Bitter? I didn't think I was. That was a lifetime ago. Those thoughts were so far in the past it almost seemed as if they never happened. Then I saw a picture of this man with a woman and a child at a baseball game and it was like a switch turned on inside of me. The only thing I could think was "That should have been MY son." Wow, where did THAT come from? I guess you never know what lies beneath the surface.

Now what? What do I do with all this "stuff"?

We have begun to communicate. If you call it that. He said he's been hoping for this day. He asked for a picture of Chris. He wants to connect with him. I made the mistake of expecting it to happen fast, I guess. But I find myself waiting by the computer...waiting, waiting, waiting. More waiting. 27 years of waiting. What's one more day?

It doesn't help that I've been very sick for three days and haven't been able to do anything but lie in bed and think. So I send another email. I "insult" him. Shit. I apologized.

Did you hear that?? I'M APOLOGIZING. I'll suck it up for now. I'll do it for Chris. But one day it's gonna hit the fan. I can smell it coming.

Happy Easter! (And Happy 12th Birthday Thomas!)

2009-04-11T23:39:00.005-04:00

Keith Green "Easter Song"

Twenty years later....

2009-03-31T21:57:00.001-04:00

it stills gives me goose bumps...and I was amazed that I hadn't forgotten the words.

Watching the movie "Cars"...

2009-03-29T00:43:00.004-04:00

Jacob absoutely loves this movie. He can sit through the whole thing!

Jacob came to visit....

2009-03-29T00:22:00.002-04:00

I finally found it....

2009-03-27T23:51:00.003-04:00

Back in 1991, my ex and I won tickets to meet Steven Curtis Chapman backstage before his "Great Adventure" tour. Here is the cropped picture (had to cut the ex out). I don't know what's worse, SCC's mullet or that horid plaid shirt I had on. To my defense, I had surgery a week or so before that concert and had to wear loose clothing. I should have purchased an oversized t-shirt instead!

The concert was great, by the way.

I Can Only Imagine...MercyMe

2009-03-15T22:00:00.001-04:00

Addison Road...Hope Now

2009-03-15T21:55:00.001-04:00

Voice of Truth...Casting Crowns

2009-03-15T21:38:00.001-04:00

Other pics from my trip...

2009-01-06T16:51:00.019-05:00

I was taking pictures as we drove home of anything and everything.

Two things about this photo. One, if you have to cut the trees back THAT much, you may as well cut them down. This tree looks absurd. Also, I love this old house.

I like these two as well.

This is a local park on the way out of town. The river runs just behind it. You can rent a canoe or go fishing.

Sure, "treat yourself to the best"...doctors, that is, to treat that face cancer from chewing it!

Ugly Christmas decorations.

Interesting staircase.

There's a huge ball park in town.

Good luck to Mr. Manchin, whoever he is.

Amen.

Weekend in W.VA...

2009-01-06T16:28:00.011-05:00

I know I've showed this place before but all my Christmas pics are in Greg's computer. We visited the mobile home in West Va. this past weekend. Mobile home is just a fancy way of saying "trailer", heh.

Insomnia..

2008-12-28T00:49:00.004-05:00

Last night I was awake until approximately 4:30am. My alarm was set for 6:30am and I had to be at work at 7:45. I thought I was going to make it when the alarm went off and I actually heard it. Trouble is, I hit snooze three times and well, on the fourth ring, slept right through it! Needless to say, I was late by about two hours!

I got so busy at work that I missed my lunch break. I received a call around 2 that said Thomas and Greg were locked out of my house, my mom was due home and she didn't have a key. So, I took my lunch break at 2:45pm and ran home to unlock the door, thinking that I'd be going back to work to finish what I was doing. Thank goodness for Thomas' memory. He reminded me that I was off at 3pm and asked me why I was going back work! HA! I got to stay home!

I gathered up my things, changed my clothes and drove to Greg's house where I quickly got into bed and slept all night....well, at least until now. I woke up with a growling in my tummy and headed downstairs where I found not only a mess in the sink but work clothes that hadn't been washed for tomorrow...err, today. So, I'm waiting for laundry to get done so I can put it into the dryer. It's almost 1am and I am afraid that I won't be able to fall back to sleep.

Here are a few pictures I took before I left the house tonight. The tan puppy is a boy. I caught him snuggling next to mom. The two black pups are girls. One, as you can tell in the picture, is the runt.

Beans is a very good mom. She growls when a stranger comes near and goes running to them when they cry. For the most part, she stays in the kennel with them, nursing and caring for them.

Lucky is getting fixed in January. I think we've had enough puppies to last a LONG time. It's easy now that they're here (the birth was hard) but once they get moving around, I'll be doing most of the cleaning up after them...and they can get MESSY!

Well, I'm off to check laundry...night!

It was a crazy week....

2008-12-25T22:03:00.011-05:00

Our Tree.

Thomas waiting to open presents.

New Movies.

Amanda and Jacob came over...a day early! She brought Shawn back from his dads house.

Jacob loved his presents.

We have three new puppies born Dec. 23rd. Two black girls, one cream boy.

Oh...and I am engaged now.

Merry Christmas!!

Luke 2:6-14

2008-12-21T02:18:00.005-05:00

"And she brought forth her first born son and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Now there were in the same country, shepherds keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold and angel of the Lord stood before them and the glory of the Lord shone around them. And they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said, fear not for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign to you, you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace...good will toward men!"

Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel...SCC

2008-12-21T01:07:00.001-05:00

All I Really Want for Christmas....

2008-12-19T23:08:00.002-05:00

Natalie Grant...Held

2008-12-16T14:07:00.002-05:00

Click on the link to the right, in the play list, to hear the song...

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Got the tree....

2008-12-16T08:50:00.002-05:00

up last night. Lights, bulbs, nasty nasty tinsil. Is that how u spell it...tinsil? Well, you understand anyway, right? It's that silvery shiney stringy crap that people put on Christmas trees. It looks ok when lighted up but looks like a trash heap when not. I loathe the stuff. I was outvoted 2-1 and have to suffer with it this year. That's ok though. Thomas and I flipped for which tree to buy and I won. As we were walking to the office to pay for it, he had tears in his eyes. He was trying to suck it up and tell me it was ok, I could get mine. I ended up giving in, so the boy owes me one! Two if you count tinsil. Muhahahahah...

We are hanging icicle lights outside and have reached a point where the 7 foot ladder is not tall enough. I have one more string to get up there and we're done so I'm bringing Greg's truck to his dads house today and getting a ladder that is long enough. It's gonna be purrrrty!

I have purchased a total of three presents so far. I am broke til Friday. Kinda sucks doing last minute shopping but oh well, what can a poor girl do?

I have to schedule my final at the college for late Thursday afternoon. I need all the time I can get to study. It's my Medical Terminology II web course and I have not studied the pharmacology chapter yet! I'm so bad with this stuff. I haven't signed up for anything else for January. I think I'm going to take a break until the summer.

I have to go help Greg's mom with a scrapbooking project today so I'm outta here...

Puppies...

2008-12-12T21:19:00.002-05:00

Beans is carrying three puppies. She's due in two weeks.
Thomas is feeling better.
I got an 88 on my final...missed 4.
Now I have to study for the last test which is next week and I'm done for a while.
Just got home from work.
Got to be back at 7:30am....blech.

Nite.

Very busy, quick recap...

2008-12-08T13:13:00.003-05:00

* Just finished my project for my computer class tomorrow...final on Thursday.
* Have a lot of reading to do for that and my medical terminology final that's next week.
* Thomas is home with strep throat and an ear infection.
* He went to the doctor this morning.
* He grew 3/4 of an inch in one month!
* He's now taller than I am by 1/2 inch...dang it.
* Got pictures of Jacob back and they turned out great! Will have to post them another time.
* I have a 2nd interview tomorrow with a company nearby. Mon-Fri 9-5...one other person in the office....I can get used to that.
* Beans' babies are due on Christmas Day. Horray...Just what I wanted to be doing on Christmas Day. I'm praying they come a week early like last time.

How awsome are these pictures?!!

2008-11-26T21:39:00.010-05:00

I took Jacob to get his pictures done at Sears last night. He didn't cooperate very well but she managed to get a few good shots. Of course, the ones I have printed will be much clearer and brighter. These were snagged off Sears' website.
This first one is my fav...it's alot brighter but turned out weird here.

Yay, Jakie!

2008-11-24T22:39:00.003-05:00

Jacob is coming tonight to visit!

2008-11-24T15:45:00.004-05:00

I'm very excited to see Jacob again! He spent the week here when I was in Florida but that didn't help me with my Jakie fix at all! I gotta give him alot of hugging and squeezing over the next few days. I think they are going home Wednesday and coming to my brothers for Thanksgiving dinner.

I have to work on Thanksgiving from 9am - 1pm. That totally sucks but at least I'll be making some money. I plan on shopping on Friday then have to work from noon - 8. That totally blows.

I just passed another test with 24 out of 25 right. I accidentally hit the wrong button on the third question! Oh well. That's what I get for being in a hurry.

It's only 3:45pm but it's very dark outside. It looks like it might snow. If it does, I hope it dumps tons on us! Oh wait, that's not good. I have to get an estimate on my car tomorrow and I'm taking Jacob to Sears to have his picture taken!

I just LOVE my Jacob! Amanda needs some extra loving too...she's having a rough time right now.

This was taken in August by my mothers friend. She mailed it to us today.

Still alive..

2008-11-19T22:37:00.001-05:00

Not around alot. Been busy with work/school.

Kev, waiting patiently for a new post! :)

Off for the next two days...might post more later.

This one cracked me up...

2008-11-14T23:53:00.001-05:00

Maybe it was the fact that it was late and I was tired, but this one made me chuckle...til it got to the fart and I did one of those laugh/snorts. My mom was sitting behind me and commented on the noise I made. I had the ear buds in and she didn't know what I was laughing at. Of course, I had to share it with her.

Just because....

2008-11-14T23:38:00.001-05:00

Formaldehyde on a bra?!

2008-11-13T21:22:00.004-05:00

My sister-in-law has been suffering from a horrible rash and hives since September. The dermatologist is stumped as to what it was from. Nancy thought it was from stress. Well, yesterday she read this story online...and realized that her husband gave her two Victoria Secret bras for her birthday in September.

Of course, a Victoria Secret spokesperson is denying they use formaldehyde in their clothing. Read the comments to the story and you will see that they are guilty! I hope they sue the ass off Victoria Secret. She has really been suffering since her birthday!

Lessons Learned...

2008-11-13T20:06:00.007-05:00

Yesterday I made the mistake of declaring out loud, in my car, on the way to work...."I'm going to have a great day!"

Uh huh. It started out ok. I got to work in one peice. I was alone. This is good...no one to bug me. I started moving vacuum boxes around and had an asthma attack. I've had a head cold and it's taken up residency in my lungs. I got over that with the aide of an inhaler. I then proceeded to drop a box on my head while I was lifting it up to a shelf. Ok so I wasn't supposed to be doing that without help but I was ALONE, remember?? Well, my forehead and I learned our lesson.

I took a lunch break and went to the doctors to have some labs drawn. The ditz the night before said she couldn't find my vein and wanted to stick my lower arm...NOT. I have drawn blood before, and had she looked in the right place, she'd have found the vein.

So a different nurse sticks the needle in my arm...and I swear, she was trying to see if it would come out the other side! She claimed my vein was at an angle. Umm...sure. After inflicting pain on me, I started crying. It hurt, do you blame me?

I recovered from that and went back to work. While working on the Sign Writer, I got a migraine. I NEVER get these at work! They are visual migraines. They start with squiggly lines in my vision, in the shape of a V that's on it's side, and as it grows, the skin around my eye and cheek goes numb. Then once the squigglies are gone, the headache hits.

I gave up and went home an hour early to lie down. I won't make the same mistake twice. From now on, I'll keep my mouth shut on the way to work!

New song by SCC...

2008-11-11T22:39:00.004-05:00

From SCC's website...

"Honoring Veterans"

"A few days ago Steven Curtis Chapman had the opportunity to visit the Bethesda Naval Medical Center, a guest of the President's physician. It's become a given on Steven's schedule over the last 8 years plus. If he has a tour date in the DC area, you'll find him spending the morning and afternoon at Bethesda. He's been fortunate to have the chance to meet brave men and women military service personnel there, both the wounded and the medical staff.

Two Fridays ago Steven met Corpsman Thomas McBride. He had been wounded in action in Afghanistan and tragically had lost part of his leg. Steven was deeply moved by this man and the sacrifice he had made for this country. In response and with gratitude to Corpsman McBride and all who have served America, Steven penned a new song, "Thomas McBride." It's Steven's great privilege, that this song was delivered this week to Corspman McBride by the President of the United States, George W Bush.

On this week that marks Veterans Day 2008, we pay tribute to the service and sacrifice of the men and women who in defense of our freedom have bravely worn the uniform of the United States. To mark the week, Steven is making available, via streaming audio, this simple demo he recorded of the new song."

"Thomas McBride"

Thomas O'Neil Douglas...May 19, 1951 - November 9, 1998.

2008-11-10T02:14:00.007-05:00

Sick as a dog...

2008-11-09T20:26:00.001-05:00

Head colds bite.

Animal Kingdom, Disney World, Oct. 11th

2008-11-06T12:59:00.013-05:00

Taking the tram from the parking lot to the park. Uncle James, Aunt Donette, cousin Amanda and Thomas.

Entrance to the park.

Don't remember what kind of birds these are.

We saw a 3D show about the movie "A Bug's Life".

This was leaving the entrance to the 3D show.

We saw this guy on the walking tour.

We took a safari ride through the "jungle". In the background you can see the crocs.

Thomas is sick...AGAIN

2008-11-05T20:33:00.002-05:00

It started last Sunday evening on our way home from West Virginia. His throat started hurting. He went to bed around 8pm which is odd so I knew something was up. By the middle of the night his fever was 101.5.

After his history with strep throat, I decided to take him to the doctor right away. As expected, it is strep. She gave him an antibiotic and sent him on his way. Trouble is that this time the meds aren't working. I am alternating Tylenol and Ibuprophen and his temp is staying around 100. He's miserable and his throat is so sore, he can hardly swallow.

I finally called the doctor yesterday and she said it might be viral vs. bacterial. His fever broke last night while sleeping and he's been fever free today...that is, until I let him go across the street to a kids activity at church. He came home with a fever of 102. Back to bed he went...and there he stays until he's well.

He's missed so much of school I wouldn't be surprised if they come to check up on him! Oh well....school work can wait.

On a side note...I'm GLAD the election is over!!!!!

I know it's too late but it's SOOOO cute!

2008-11-05T00:25:00.001-05:00

Yep, the rumor is true...

2008-11-04T19:01:00.007-05:00

Like I said before, it's your right to vote, and mine to NOT vote. It's also my right to change my mind.

Am I glad I did it? I'm not sure. I voted. I don't like the person I voted for. I dislike the other candidate even more. I feel guilty for voting. Last time around I said I wouldn't be responsible for either jerk to be voted in office. I didn't quite have that frame of mind this time...but still felt that neither man deserved my vote. I guess I should be happy that I have the right to vote whether I want to or not.

Thank You God for not having to vote for another 4 years. Lets just hope we have a better choice next time.

Been there....Got the T-Shirt...

2008-11-04T18:49:00.002-05:00

This is the t-shirt that I purchased while at the concert. I also purchased a MWS CD but it was defective. I was given two free Christmas CD's when I signed up to sponsor the child.

It was an awsome night...

2008-11-02T22:05:00.009-05:00

Greg and I attended the concert Friday night and it was as awsome as I had expected it to be. I haven't seen Steven Curtis Chapman for 17 years! He's as great now as he was back in the day. As I have mentioned before, SCC is involved with his organization Shaohannah's Hope.

Michael W. Smith is a long time supporter of Compassion International which provides food, clothing, medical care and education to children in third world countries via individual sponsorship. I was able to sponsor a little girl from Tonga, back in the early 80's. During the intermission, the drummer spoke about the ministry and gave everyone an opportunity to sponsor a child. All of the children represented that night were orphans.

I'd like you to meet the newest member of our family...Marta Lakew...Her picture stood out to me when I walked up to the table where packets were being displayed and her red sweater and pretty eyes caught my eye!

I am looking forward to sponsoring Marta and writing and receiving letters. If you feel that you can sponsor a child, click the link above. It only costs $32 a month! I figured I spend more than that on Mountain Dew each month. I'd rather put the money to much better use!

An hour early....

2008-10-31T11:05:00.008-04:00

so I have time on my hands. I woke up thinking it was 11:30 a.m. and was in a rush to pick up Shawn from school. I came out to the kitchen to make toast and found the clocks said 10:35. Hmm....I must have hit the time button along with the snooze. So, here I am, toast eaten, with time on my hands.

I contemplated doing my homework but decided not to. I work better under pressure and those papers aren't due til Tuesday of next week. :-)

Shawn gets out of school every day at 11:30 then eats lunch with his friends. He only needed 4 more credits to graduate (4 classes) and rather than taking all 4 classes in one semester and finishing in January, he decided to take 2 classes all year and work the rest of the day (work/study program). Thing is he failed to ask his mother if that was ok. The bus doesn't run at noon and so I have been picking him up each day, which screws up my work schedule at the store. I now have to work M/W/F 1-9pm which totally sucks. BUT...if he quits or gets fired, he has to attend school all day.

He's been grounded for a month for infractions that I won't go into here, but long and short of it is this...his father and I have decided to make him go back to school full time and quit his job. Next week will my the end of my 1-9pm schedule, thank God! I am so tired of working nights.

The store is still dragging their feet on this HR job and so I'm going to start looking elsewhere. I work on commission and well, you can all imagine how that's going...economy and all. People are only buying if it's broken.

I was excited last night when I realized I took today off! I saw my co-workers yesterday while I was shopping in the store and told them all I'd see them today. Hehe, NOT! I LOVE lazy days.

I have to pack when I get back from getting Shawn. Thomas is spending the night with his friend Nikki and I have to drop his clothes and costume off at the house on my way to Gregs. I just mapquested the music center and it's only 1 1/2 hours away. This is good as we planned on leaving 2 1/2 hours early. Might just have time to grab a bite to eat. Ok, I'm babbling. Gotta scoot.

This Saturday night is when we turn back clocks....don't forget!

Excited...

2008-10-30T13:07:00.005-04:00

I'm going to the SCC/MWS concert tomorrow evening and I'm looking forward to it! Greg is going with me. Thomas will be spending the night with a classroom friend and going trick-or-treating with him.

I'm taking the boys to do some winter clothes shopping this afternoon. I finally received my check in the mail. It was the balance of money I didn't use from my grant to go to college. They award you a certain amount of money, depending on the class load you are taking, and once you purchase books and supplies, they mail you a check for the difference. Why you ask? Well, I have been told it is to help you with other expenses to get to class, such as daycare or gas money. My balance was tripple the one from last semester and so I'm VERY excited about that!

I have been very busy with school, work, and family lately that I sometimes wish I could just turn the world off for a bit! I still haven't heard about the job. The decision is coming from someone out of our store so we are at their mercy. The previous H.R. woman said she had heard that they might do away with the Human Resources department (it's only one person) in our store and let the leads/managers hire/fire, etc. Great. Just what I DIDN'T want to hear.

I will be so glad when this stupid election is over. I do not plan on voting (and I don't care what you think about that.) It's my right TO vote...it's also my right NOT to vote. Amen.

Oh, I am 95% sure that Lucky the poodle got "lucky" again. Puppies are due on Dec. 24th.

Oh Joy.

Not a morning person...

2008-10-28T08:29:00.003-04:00

I am sitting here trying to convince myself that going to school vs. sleeping in will one day pay off.

It ain't workin'.

I found my pictures.....

2008-10-27T23:32:00.013-04:00

While on the trip back from Florida, I realized that I left a bunch of things in the night table drawer. I immediately contacted the owners and their management company mailed the items to me. Today when I opened the box, I found my little "thumb drive". I didn't realize that I had left it there, although I knew it was missing. I also didn't realize that I had placed all of my photos on it! Yay! I'm excited!

I STILL haven't heard about the job yet. The news should be there today in Tim's email but he wasn't at work today. I have class tomorrow morning and will stop in around 11am to see who got it. If the rumor is true about someone from another store interviewing for the job, she will probably get it as she's already in Human Resources. Cross your fingers and say a prayer....I REALLY want this job. It's been hard to not get my hopes up.

I wanted to post a video with the new verse up there but I couldn't find it. It's by Clay Crosse and is titled "Midnight Cry".

Thomas and the gang arriving at Epcot, where they have the park split into different countries, with shops, rides, etc.

"He's got the whole world in his hands!" Ok, so that's really a children's church song but hey, it works for this picture! heh.
Thomas and his cousin, Amanda, in "China".

Goofing around...I can't remember which country this was in...maybe the U.S.?

This man was in "Germany" and he was painting figurines.

Thomas and Amanda had a passport that got stamped in each country. Here they are in Canada.

Sick and tired....

2008-10-26T21:28:00.002-04:00

of computer B.S. I am sick of not having a decent computer! I'm now on my old desktop. It was running SLOW in my room so I moved it to the dining room, which is next my mothers room. The internet box thingy is in her room and I needed to get closer to it. Well, it helped a bit.I have decided to call the phone company and have my own connection run to my room.

Still waiting to hear about the job. The decision will be made tomorrow but the guy who interviewed us is off tomorrow. I am off Tuesday and can't wait til Wednesday to hear so I told him I'd stop in Tues. morning after class. If I don't get the job in H.R. I will start searching for one elsewhere. The economy is in the toilet and people are only buying appliances out of necessity. I can't live on the money I'm making now.

I am going to the SCC/MWS on Friday night and I'm VERY excited. Greg is supposed to accompany me...we shall see. If he backs out I'll be one not so happy woman BUT I will get over it FAST because I'm going to go and enjoy myself, with or without him!

Off to study....again.

oops...

2008-10-25T00:19:00.003-04:00

that link in the previous post is for flickr, and I thought it would let you view all the photos but it only shows one....you have to create an account to view the rest. I'll leave that up to you, there's 49 pics there. Good luck.

I'm waiting to hear about another position I applied for at work. I was told we'd know today...now it's Monday. Cross your fingers...I really want this job! It would be a big increase in pay.

Some bozo hit my car while we were headed out of town on the 10th. The only damage to my bumper was paint from his license plate...but the estimate I got Thursday was $495. I don't think he was happy today when I told him about that. Too bad for him....he should have put have been paying attention!

School is going ok. I'm always playing catch up. I really don't use my time wisely. I think I'll take a break from classes until the summer. I really don't think I'll take another web course. I'm not disciplined enough. I get side tracked alot.

I think I'll go read. Nite.

Another busy day....

2008-10-21T07:17:00.001-04:00

Woke up early to do homework for my computer class. Thomas is dragging butt today. His bus comes in 15 minutes and he's not even dressed.

I have class at 9:30am and a doctors appt. today. Other than that, I'll be sitting in front of this computer all day long trying to catch up in computers, and start the 2nd part of the Medical Terminology class.

All I want to do is sleep.

Long story short...

2008-10-20T23:40:00.004-04:00

Here is Uncle James, Aunt Donnette, Thomas' cousin, Amanda and Thomas.

The Disney trip was good. I took alot of pictures but will have to post them another time. We got in around 1am Sunday morning and I had to be at work at 10am.

I took my final today in my Medical Terminology class and passed, of course. I think my total grade in the course is 86% which I think is a "B". The second half of this course started yesterday. I was behind because the final was due last week but I was out of town.

I am waiting to hear about a job I applied for in Human Resourses. I have the inside scoop on things but won't jinx myself. It's a HUGE pay raise.

I have class tomorrow...it's late....I'm tired.

Nite!

Packing....

2008-10-09T22:22:00.002-04:00

You never realize how much stuff you have until you try to pack it all in a tiny suitcase on wheels. I thought I'd be bringing two suitcases....one for me, one for Thomas. Well, we are now up to two suitcases, one bag, one camera bag, two pillows and I still have to pack my reading material, laptop and "purse" stuff. I hope they have a big van.

Thomas is excited to be going to Disney World. I'm sure I'll be happy once there but the ride down is going to be hard for me. I hate riding in the car. A trip to Ocean City that takes 4 hours just about does me in. This trip is going to be around 16 hours. I may get down there and decide to not come back!

Greg gave Thomas his change jug and we cashed it in today. The total came to $165. We had to purchase a new wallet with a chain on it so Thomas can carry it around. Of course, I won't let him keep all of that in the wallet at the same time.

I have to take Shawn in the morning to get his senior pictures taken. Once that's done, we will spend the day in Maryland with Amanda....then we leave for Florida around 9pm.

I'll post pictures from the place we're staying in. Until then.....

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

3 days and counting....

2008-10-07T13:42:00.002-04:00

We are leaving for our Disney trip late Friday night. My ticket just came in the mail. Tonight I'm going to purchase tickets for the Pirates Dinner Theatre. I think Thomas will like that.

We will be leaving late Friday morning to visit with Amanda and Jacob in Waldorf, where they live. Thomas' Aunt Donette lives there also so once we are done visiting we will head to her house. We are leaving late that night so hopefully the trip won't seem so long to Thomas as he will be sleeping.

He's still coughing a bit and using his inhaler but his fever is gone. He missed a total of 5 1/2 days of school. I'm sure the teachers just loved me when I sent the note on Monday saying he'll be missing all next week too. Too bad if they get pissy. We're going...that's that.

Now all I have to do is buy a decent pair of tennis shoes and some shorts. Problem is the winter clothes are out now and there aren't any to buy!! I plan on purchasing them in Florida. (I hope)

I have to work tomorrow and then I'll be done with that place for a while. Amanda and Jacob will be visiting next Monday - Friday. She will be driving Shawn home from school and taking him to work and picking him up.

Got side tracked...will finish later.

Yay for me....

2008-09-30T12:51:00.007-04:00

I have been very busy. Thomas has been sick. I am working full time and taking two classes at the college. I was doing well at keeping up until last week when I got sick.

Last night I had three chapters to read in my computer class and three pre-tests to do online before taking the test this morning. This is not a quick thing as the chapters are LONG. There is so much information crammed into one chapter that it makes my brain hurt. I started reading/studying at 11pm and finished around 2:45am when I started falling asleep.

Today I went to class and passed the test with an 88. The average score was 72. I haven't the slightest clue how I did it. I still say that the majority of information I feed into my brain cells seeps out almost as quickly as it goes in!

This Computer Concepts and Applications class has two parts. The first was on the workings of the computer, hardware, security, networks, LANS, WANS and well, you get the the picture...BS pretty much. The reason I took the class was for the second part which is learning the Microsoft Office Suite. Thank the good Lord I made it through the first half and now the good stuff is going to start on Thursday.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thomas has been sick since last Thursday. I thought his fever was gone this morning but it just came back again. He visisted his doctor yesterday and received an antibiotic and inhaler. I hate to see him sick but I'd rather it happen now than when we get to Disney World on Oct. 11.

**********************************************************************************

This November, Tom will have been gone 10 years. He had Thomas, our son, at the age of 45. He never thought he'd be a father so Thomas was a welcome surprise. Tom always said that he wanted to take him to Disney World when he was 5 years old.

When Thomas was 8 months old, Tom was diagnosed with Lou Gherig's Disease. Tom realized that he wasn't going to be around when Thomas was 5 so he asked his sister and I to take him. Once Thomas turned 5, we decided to wait until he was 10 or so because we thought he would appreciate the trip more and could handle all the walking around at an older age. So here we are, 10 years later, planning a trip to the big DW. Oh and Thomas is now 11.

I have to purchase my ticket in a few days. Aunt D. is buying Thomas' ticket. We have rented a large place with tons of rooms and a pool. I think there's 20 or so people going now. The are all Aunt D's kids and grandkids. I'm sure we'll have a great time and I plan on taking alot of pictures.

**********************************************************************************

TIP OF THE DAY: Always give yourself plenty of time to study. Cramming at the last minute only leaves you tired and grumpy the next day!

A Boost of Energy...NOT...More like a pain in the butt...

2008-09-25T22:02:00.008-04:00

I was promised a "boost of energy" once I received my B-12 injection. All it did was give me the chills and make me feel woozy. 24+ hours later, I'm still dragging butt. But that's a story for another day. Wait, you might not want to hear about my dragging butt....anyway....

I visited the doctor a week ago and had blood drawn. My labs were "accidently put in my folder WITHOUT the doctor reading them" and so there was no message waiting for me on their service. I placed THREE phone calls to find out where my results were and no one called me back. I had to wait until Monday to call again.

On Monday morning I finally received a phone call that said, "Oops, Sorry, we goofed, oh and by the way, ALL your labs came back normal." End of story, right? Not. The next day I received a phone call telling me that "more labs came in" and my Vitamin B-12 and D were low. Good thing I wasn't dying of something. My results would be tucked away in my file while I wasted away and croaked.

Ok.

Here is where I usually go off on a tangent about how the medical profession SUCKS BEANS, and is filled with incompetent bafoons but this time, I have decided to let it go. Why? Well, I'll tell you...

I have decided to adopt the practice of my co-worker Joann. When someone ticks us off, usually the same person who continually does stupid things, she asks us, "Why do you keep raising your expectations of so-and-so? You know how he is!" Good point Joann.

So...I have officially lowered my expectations of the medical profession. From now on instead of expecting my labs to be read by a doctor, I will call each time to make sure it's done. I will ask, "Did you put on her desk? Did you call it into the messaging system so I can retrieve my results in a timely manner? Are you SURE you filed it in MY file?"

Instead of expecting someone to bill my insurance correctly, I will ask each time, "Are you SURE you have the right insurance? Then I will request them to read to me exactly what is on my card."

Instead of expecting my doctor to automatically listen to me and at least TRY to understand what I'm saying, I will ask when I walk in, "Are you capable of hearing what I say today?" If not, I'll turn back around and go home.

Instead of expecting my doctor to try to get to the bottom of my sypmptoms by running tests and actually THINK about my case, instead of GUESSING at what's wrong, I will first do some research myself, decide what it is I want done and TELL The doctor what she will be doing.

Yeah, I can get into this. I will be the talk of the office. Heck, I might actually be remembered by someone once I walk out the door. Heh, they won't forget me after a few visits. They actually might start doing THEIR JOB CORRECTLY.

Imagine that.

I'll probably die of a heart attack on the spot. I wonder if they'll forget to do C.P.R....

Weekend trip...

2008-09-23T14:48:00.009-04:00

Greg recently purchased a mobile home from his co-worker. He will use it for weekend getaways and for hunting this fall. There's a river right past the trees that you can fish in also. Here are a few pics of the place. You can see more of our weekend on my new facebook page.

This is the view off the front deck.

Here's a view from the river.

The water was so low you could have walked across it in some areas.

This was taken on our way home from a trip to "Dolly Sods".

Mid-Term was a breeze...

2008-09-22T22:42:00.004-04:00

I was so worried that I'd flunk that sucker. I got three wrong. Two I changed at the last minute but was right the first time! The last one I should have known from my EMT days. The answer was greenstick fracture. The average score was 41. I got a 47. Heh.

I thought I'd need at least an hour or more. I was finished in 10 minutes. Now I have to catch up in my computer class. It's tomorrow morning and I'm two chapters behind.

Ugh. I've been having major insomnia lately. I was still awake in the bed this morning at 5am. Ticked off, arm aching, legs jumping, TICKED OFF. I set THREE alarm clocks and asked Greg to call me at 7am.

I moved my test from 11am to 1pm because I forgot I had to pick up Shawn from school at noon and it's 45 minutes away from the college. I then worked from 1pm - 9pm. My feet hurt and I'm tired. Another typical day.

just because...

2008-09-22T03:36:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk5K-eTTkfM

Amanda is a silly nut...

2008-09-17T09:44:00.007-04:00

As I sat on my bed reading posts from years gone by, I found it amusing that I had mentioned in several posts, Amanda's inability to make up her mind. In the last three years she's wanted to be a hair stylist, interior designer, tatoo artist, real estate agent, veterinarian, an elementary school teacher, and a daycare worker. As I was chuckling at how silly she is, the phone rang. It was Amanda calling to ask me what I thought about the Navy. Uh oh, here we go again.

She was telling me that she had "checked into it" whatever that means. Apparently she had a desire to join the Navy before she got pregnant but never acted on it. I asked her why she would want to join and she mentioned that they have police in the Navy.

One thing Amanda was very sure of during her high school years was that she wanted to be a police officer. During her 11th grade year, she joined some program at the high school that was taught by a police officer. I can't remember what it was called but she spent half the day in that class and participated in after school activities. She enjoyed the class, but the one thing that really bothered her was the talk the intstructor had about police officers and the high incidence of violence in the home. She seemed to lose interest. I think she was afraid of this happening to her.

She took several classes at the college recently but was turned down for financial aid this semester because she dropped a class to late and it counted against her. She has to pay for her next class, and then apply for aid for the next term. She didn't have the money so she didn't take a class this semester.

I had convinced her to start school and figure out what she wanted to major in at a later time. Now she's thinking about the Navy, UGH! Like I've said before in previous posts, I think I'll sit and wait on this one. No sense getting all worked up over something I have no control over, and she'll probably change her mind soon anyway!

Sure am glad I'm not that way! *cough*

Run Run Run!!

2008-09-13T16:19:00.005-04:00

I finally found 1/2 a day to do absoutely nothing. Well, I'm doing SOMETHING but it's not required of me and that makes all the difference.

I came in last night around 10pm after running around all day and going to work. I knew I didn't have much time before I needed to get to bed as I was due back at work at 7:30am this morning.

I had just sat down at the computer when an old "WCN" friend sent me an instant message. WCN was an old chat room that I used to go to chat in. I'm talking 22 out of 24 hours a day. There was a time after Tom died where I hid from the world and lived in my computer.

After talking to this old friend, he hooked me up with a group of old WCN people that were in a chat room on PalTalk. Needless to say, I spent the next two hours chatting with old friends. That's two hours I should have been sleeping. I woke up sleepy today and spent most of the day dragging butt.

THOMAS HAS A SLEEPOVER

Thomas spent last night across the street at his friends house celebrating the neighbors birthday. They must have had a late night because the poor thing is sound alseep in my bed right now. Thomas taking a nap in the middle of the day is unheard of. I hope he had fun.

Hmmm....taking a nap. Not a bad idea.

The African Childrens Choir....

2008-09-12T08:19:00.002-04:00

You are the Shepherd...

Well....

2008-09-11T10:59:00.002-04:00

I didn't need as much luck as I thought I would. The average score on the first test was 73.91. I got a 92. Heh. I knew I was wrong on 2. I missed a total of 4. I am smarter than I thought.

Glad that's over.

Brain freeze..

2008-09-10T22:43:00.004-04:00

I've studied all day long. I have a huge test tomorrow and my brain is officially fried. I slept like crap last night and now I am dead tired.

Wish me luck...I'm gonna need it.

Swamped...

2008-09-09T08:32:00.003-04:00

with school work. I have always been one who needed to "cram" to pass a test...but I find as I am getting older, that's harder to do. It's also very frustrating when I read a section of my chapter and find it difficult to answer the five questions at the end. It boggles my mind that I could have just read it and have forgotten it THAT fast! I have also found that I do better with multiple choice as opposed to filling in the blank.

Getting older sucks.

sigh

2008-09-04T21:23:00.006-04:00

I pulled these from yahoo.com, just because...

A baby baboon sits in its enclosure at the National Zoo in Havana August 7, 2008.

A two-week-old reticulated giraffe is nuzzled by her mother 'Fanny' at the Brookfield Zoo Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2008 in Chicago. The five-foot-tall calf is the the 57th giraffe born at Brookfield Zoo and Fanny's third offspring.

A new-born Javan Lutung (Trachypithecus auratus), also known as Javan Langur, baby is embraced by Smirre, the mother, in the Budapest Zoo in Budapest, Hungary, Saturday, Aug. 23, 2008.

A Wedding, a Reunion and a Birthday

2008-09-01T23:36:00.032-04:00

GREGS SON GETS MARRIED...

SATURDAY...5:30pm...hot, sticky, humid. OUTDOOR wedding. Even though the weather left a lot to be desired, it was worth suffering through to see Tommy and Stephanie tie the knot. The wedding was beautiful and we had a great time.

Tommy, waiting for his bride. He was looking over his shoulder at his father who was also his best man.

Here they are taking their vows. Stephanie had the giggles, which I think came after her trying to not cry, and Tommy remained very serious, as did his dad.

Here is the couples first dance.

THOMAS MEETS HIS FATHERS FAMILY...

SUNDAY...We left the reception around 11:00pm. I have been having trouble sleeping and this night wasn't any different. I had to wake up at 6am and drive to Pennsylvania and had only slept for three hours. I was worried that I would start to fall asleep on the three hour ride, but didn't have much trouble. Twice Thomas and I opened the windows and the sun roof, blasted the music and sang until I felt wide wake again. It turned out to be a nice ride and the house was easy to find.

Here is Thomas' Aunt and her cousin Glen. Behind them is "Aunt Sis". She is a sweetheart and made us feel right at home. We spent the afternoon sitting on the covered porch. The humidity left and it was an absoutely perfect day! And of course, we hade TONS of food.

We played a game called corn toss. I had never heard of it but someone came into my store a while back asking for it. We did carry it but under another name. I didn't do so well. I only got one bean bag into the hole. Thomas' uncle had great aim and was kicking butt the whole time.

I think Thomas was tired of me taking pictures.

It wouldn't be a propper reunion without the family group photo. Here's Thomas with his newly found extended family. Most of the older adults are his fathers first cousins. A handful of them are their children.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AMANDA!

21 years ago today (errr, Sunday) I gave birth to this little stinker...

Who grew up to be this very pretty stinker...

Happy Birthday, Amanda! Now go and behave yourself, stay out of the bars and leave the beer drinking friends behind. Find some nice young boy with a college degree and a good job and marry that sucker!! heh.

Remembering Tom...

2008-08-30T14:05:00.003-04:00

November 9th will be the 10th anniversary of Tom's death. He's been on my mind alot lately. Probably because I am traveling tomorrow to Pennsylvania to meet his cousins and other family for the first time.

Tom's favorite flower was the white rose. I have been shopping at a new grocery store lately and their rose selection is so much better than the one I usually go to. You can buy a dozen long stem roses for only $9.99. I passed them several times and finally had to break down and buy a bunch. They smell heavenly.

I took a bunch of pictures and these are my favorite two.

Need a break in Virginia....

2008-08-29T22:46:00.002-04:00

I often wonder if there's a sign on my back that says, "Tick me off, I love a good fight." It seems that I'm always fighting battles and to be honest, it's getting old...fast. I just wish things would go right for once.

I got into it with my landlord tonight while on my dinner break. The man doesn't realize that he won't win this battle. I am a woman on the edge. He's in for it b.a.d.

I am going to a wedding tomorrow so I won't have to work. They think I'm coming in for a 7:30am meeting. Ha..yeah. "Oops! I forgot all about it."

I received an email from a distant cousin of Thomas'. She read one of my genealogy posts and contacted me. I got her in touch with Thomas' aunt and we are now all going up to Pennsylvania Sunday for their family reunion. I am bringing the genealogy. I had it stored on my old laptop but Thomas fried it. I haven't retrieved it yet so I had to re-do it. Uh huh....pain in the butt. Thing is though, I was able to trace farther back than before, ending up in 1809/Germany. So cool. I have to wrap that up tonight and get it ready.

I gotta scoot.

I Will Carry you...MWS

2008-08-28T23:19:00.001-04:00

We flunked...

2008-08-28T14:25:00.004-04:00

the water test. The house we are renting has well water. We've been having issues with water pressure and black sediment in the water.

Long story short, I am sick the landlord giving us the run around about the plumber coming out to fix or replace the filtration system. (he's due today and so far, a no show.)

The thing the landlord doesn't realize is that I am smarter than the average bear. I took a water sample to the local lab and today I got the results....the test FAILED. There's bacteria in my water and it's NOT SAFE to drink!

This is the water I've fed my kids, dogs, and GRANDSON! I've been cooking with it. I'm ticked off. I had so much fun leaving him the message about it today. I'm sure it totally ruined his day and Christian or not, that makes me chuckle. I let him know what he needed to do to shock the system with chlorine, told him that it needed to be tested again, and that if it failed, he'd have to come up with another solution to the problem! I'm going to hold off telling him that the local health department knows about it too. *snicker*

I have the upper hand, FINALLY. I know that sounds bad but I'm sick of him not doing what he is supposed to do. I've been wanting to move out of here but have been bound by a lease. This just might be a legal way for me to get out of dodge!

stuff....

2008-08-27T19:40:00.010-04:00

Yay! My tickets for this concert arrived today! I'm soooooooo excited. I haven't seen MWS since like 1983 and SCC since March of 1991. I got to meet SCC before the concert. Got a picture of us somewhere. Probably in a storage unit stuffed in a box.

I have a terrible time concentrating while I'm supposed to be doing class work. I'm sitting here trying to study and all I can think of now is where that picture is and how I need to search for it. It's no wonder I don't get anything done!

Classes started yesterday and I'm swamped with work to do now. I'm trying to read a chapter by tomorrow. Good thing it's computer basics and nothing I don't already know. As usual, the online course seems overwhelming but I think I can get a handle on it. It's mostly memorization (medical terminology) which is hard for me unless I cram at the last minute. Ugh.

Anyway, I go to class tues/thurs from 9:30 - 10:45am. Not long at all. I can handle that. If classes were 3 hours, like some of them are, I think I'd die. Not being able to sleep on on my "days off" from work really stinks. But what's a girl to do? I gotta gets me edjumacated!

So I was going to take a picture of my work area I just set up. I finally got a new monitor to go with my old desktop but had no room so I put this table up at the end of my bed. It's a TIGHT space but it's serving it's purpose. That chair has to go. It's all wrong. I had to put my bed pillow upside down in it and I have to keep adjusting it. It's making my back ache.

Ok, I have to read so I can goof off later...toodles.

Focus on the Family Radio Broadcast...SSC and James Dobson...

2008-08-26T13:12:00.015-04:00

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Decemberadio....Find You Waiting

2008-08-21T16:01:00.005-04:00

Once again...Great song...odd video. Well, some of it anyway.

It's weird how as I walk through the many different..hmm, don't know what word to use...phases? moods? moments?...of my life, songs come to me that say exactly what I feel. I heard this last night on the radio and again today and wanted to share it.

Growing pains...

2008-08-20T11:12:00.006-04:00

I am reminded daily that I still have alot of growing to do. I am so stubborn and want to do things my way. It never turns out right when I lean on my own strength. NEVER.

Through watching a family go through the worst kind of tradgedy, and still remain standing in the faith they have proclaimed over the years, I am reminded that even though I have so far to go...I am headed in the right direction. The effort is worth it and the prize is waiting for me at the end.

Just like a baby taking it's first steps, I fall down often. I scrap my knees. It's part of growing. But no matter how many times I fail, I will never stop trying. I am His and He is there for me, giving me strength and encouragement.

And that is what it's all about.

It's been a busy week...

2008-08-18T01:27:00.007-04:00

First my granson, Jacob, came to visit. Honestly, I have no clue what day it was...he spent the night with Amanda. This is a picture of him in his car seat, as he was leaving to go back home.

Then I had the dogs groomed. I sold the third puppy to the girl who drives my mom to and from dialysis. This puppy you see here is the last one. She left yesterday. I sold her to a co-worker. I'm very happy that they all went to people who I either work with or know live close by. I can ask any one of them how the puppies are doing. I didn't want to sell them to strangers. I'm still trying to figure out how a white male and black female had a tan dog. Go figure.

Thomas and I spent Saturday morning sitting at the front of the storage unit were we rent from to try to sell a bunch of junk. They had the "community" yard sale that day. The purpose was two fold. First, they wanted to have a fund raiser for SAFE which is a group for abused families. I had to donate $10 to set up at the front of the place. Second, the goal for me was to get rid of the junk that is stored there. We had to rent two units instead of one. I wanted to sell off a bunch of crap and downsize to one unit.

Well, it didn't happen. They didn't advertise very well and even kept changing the date around. You can't do that in the summer. People have places to go and vacations to take. Needless to say, there were only 5 of us and not alot of traffic.

We have this HUGE flea market down in the town Greg lives in and we decided that we'd haul the crap down there this morning and set up there. Sleeping in won over that idea in the end. I guess we'll try next weekend. I HAVE to get rid of this crap and don't want to give it way. I am saving for a trip to Disney World in October.

I made $1200 on the four puppies but have put away $700. Not a bad chunk of change. I'd have saved more but grooming costs and recently bought school clothes for Shawn took several hundred.

I have to get to the college to buy my books for my two classes. One of the classes that I tried to take last semester is Computer Concepts and Applications. I was going to do the web course but found it overwhelming so this time I'll be attending an actual class. I hope they are using the same books. Any money left over gets sent to me in a check so I don't want to spend it if I don't have to.

My second class was hard to choose. I wanted to take so many. I chose Medical Terminology (web course) for two reasons...I think it'll be easy and even though it's not part of the business degree, it will help me get a better job in the mean time. The degree is going to take years at the rate I'm going and I don't want to be stuck doing what I'm doing now for that long. I have medical experience with being an EMT and working with a doctor as his medical technician. It's an area I am interested in so if I can get a job in a doctors office, I'll be happy.

I am out of steam and my brain is fried. I think I'll go get some rainbow sherbet then go to bed.

Nite.

Guess who's here!

2008-08-12T02:47:00.002-04:00

Uh huh! My baby Jacob!

Little turd was crabby tonight. I guess I'll have to luv on him tomorrow when he's rested.

What a day...

2008-08-09T01:30:00.008-04:00

It started out with me not wanting to get up. I had a migraine and the squiggly lines dancing in my vision were bugging me out. I don't always get a headache afterwards but today I got a killer one. It didn't help that once at work, the back door alarm started going off. I had to rescue my customers that were waiting for their freezer and the sound just about did me in.

The good thing is that by 10:30am I had sold $3200 worth of merchandise. This is a good day, as far as I'm concerned. I leave sometimes with a big goose egg.

We have a manager who has been fighting cancer for some time now. Actually this is her second bout, but it all started 25 years ago. Four of my co-workers and I drove to the hospital today to visit her. She's not doing well and honestly, we thought it might be the last time we see her.

She was in much better condition than we had expected, as she was feeling much better today than she's felt in a week. They have given her 1 month to live but she says they're wrong. She was very upbeat today, enjoying her visit with "her favorite co-workers from her favorite store".

The cancer has spread to her brain so she was a bit confused at times. Her name is Rheba and if you are a praying type of person, please put one in for her tonight.

Shawn was all into the olympics opening program tonight. He kept coming out to fuss at me for not watching it. I was trying to catch up on a weeks worth of soaps but I finally gave in. I must admit, I enjoyed the program...what I saw of it, anyway. I was bored when people from the different countries started coming in. Click...back to soaps! heh.

What Now?

2008-08-07T22:43:00.002-04:00

Yay!

2008-08-07T21:05:00.003-04:00

I received a birth certificate from Vermont today. I ordered it to verify some information I found on my co-workers family. Woot Woot! I was right! And it only cost me $10. Sounds like a lot but most of the time the things I need are $27! Needless to say, unless someone is paying me, I don't get to verify much. A true genealogist will not only find the information, but then verify it with birth, death and marriage certificates, burial information, wills, land records, court records, etc.

Today is the last day of my three day weekend. I have to get back to work tomorrow at 8:45am. Good thing is I'm off at 3pm. I found out today that Amanda is coming to visit on Monday and is spending the night. I can't wait to see my baby Jacob!

I sold another puppy tonight. I was asking $450 for the last two but ended up giving her a break. She's a college student and on a budget. Good thing is she lives down the street from Greg so I can see the puppy as she grows! The one she chose was my favorite. I loved her apricot color. The runt goes to her new home Tuesday. That leaves one left. Come on...you know you wanna!

Crap I wanted to watch Larry King Live tonight. SSC is on with his family, gotta go.

I had a nice time...

2008-08-06T22:39:00.010-04:00

tonight. I started cooking dinner then found out I was being taken out for dinner so I chose Applebees. They must have changed their menu recently because I actually enjoyed the food. I chose something off their "Weight Watchers" section because I wanted steak and they were offering a tiny one on that menu. It came with portabella mushrooms and some type of brown gravy, red potatoes and broccoli.

The only thing that got me a bit miffed was when the waitress delivered my plate, she announced loud enough for everyone around to hear, "Who had the Weight Watchers meal?" Ok, I honestly chose it for the food content not the calorie content but puleeze, I'm overweight and how embarrassing is THAT? She might as well have said, "Hey fat lady, did you order this diet meal?" Come on, give a birthday girl a break! heh.

When I got back, Thomas gave me a birthday card with $20 of his own money in it! I had mentioned how I wanted a new bathing suit and he said that was what it's for. He's so sweet! He also gave me the CD by Stephen Curtis Chapman, This Moment (Cinderella Edition). I'm listening to it now.

He and his friend from next door, Tyler, have started a lawn care business called, "TNT Lawn Care" and they made a bit of money recently. The T's stand for Tyler and Thomas..hehe. I knew about the CD and card, but the cash was a complete surprise! Of course, I'll end up spending it on him tomorrow at the pool. I believe Amanda and Jacob are coming for a visit and we are going swimming.

Here's a picture of my new ring...I couldn't get a good picture of it. It's so much prettier in person.

Here's a picture of the ring I got this morning that was supposed to be green...

Funniest shade of green I've ever seen.

Ok, I'm supposed to be doing genealogy. I have to scoot!

Happy Birthday to Me...

2008-08-06T17:36:00.002-04:00

I received my ring from FedEx this morning. Good thing I didn't have my hopes up. I don't usually order jewelry online but I saw the ring at Overstock.com thought I'd give it a try. Bad idea.

The first thing I saw when I opened the box was a ring with CLEAR stones. Now look at that ring below....does it look clear? I didn't think so either. I held that damned thing up in every light possible searching for some color. Not until I placed it on my finger and left it there for a bit did I start to notice a HINT of green.

I kept moving it around thinking something didn't look right. Upon closer inspection I found the center stone slightly turned to the left. So...that sucker is going back in the mail tomorrow morning.

Thomas and I went shopping today and I found another ring at WalMart that is SO pretty. It's a white oval opal with two tanzenites on either side, and 6 tiny diamonds around the other sides. I'll have to take a picture later. I am very happy with it.

Gotta go shower for dinner. I'm going out tonight!

I love presents...

2008-08-05T16:46:00.003-04:00

This ring will be arriving tomorrow via FedEx. It's my birthday present from Greg to me. I got to pick it out. I am off work til Friday and plan on enjoying every minute of it. (My birthday is tomorrow.)

Shawn had a job interview at Sears and will start there in the shoe department, once his background check comes through. I had to take him to the hospital lab for a drug test.

Thomas and I are going to the pool tomorrow. It's already August and we haven't been yet!

The black puppy is gone and the baby (runt) will leave next tuesday. Anyone interested in a toy poodle? I have two left. Check out my puppy blog for updated pictures.

This is so cute!

2008-08-03T23:21:00.001-04:00

SCC on GMA...

2008-08-03T02:19:00.010-04:00

In May I posted about Stephen Curtis Chapman's loss of his 5 year old girl, Maria, who was killed when her teenage brother backed over her with the family car. Steven and his wife, Mary Beth, will be on Good Morning America, August 6th speaking about her. It was originally scheduled for August 5th but was changed to the 6th, so I have set the DVR to tape the whole week so I won't miss it.

After Maria's death, Steven wrote a 4th verse to a song he'd written called "Yours". Here are the words, I believe, written in his own hand.

Amen.

This song was way too long but I posted it for the words in the beginning.

Yours...(4th verse included)

I just watched these two videos. I have seen this man in concert before and I can say, the pain not only shows on his face, but you can hear it in his voice. My heart is breaking for him and his family but I know that their faith will sustain them. I can't imagine how people go though life without faith and hope.

Cooties....

2008-08-02T00:30:00.002-04:00

Apparently I still have some lingering in my system. My throat has been sore and swollen and I'm still wheezing a bit. I woke up this morning after dreaming about being sick and decided that it was time to visit the doctor again. I now have three more drugs to take. I hope these do the trick. I'm tired of feeling like a wet twinkie in the gutter.

We picked up the car tonight. Good thing it was payday our it would still be sitting at the garage.

I am drawing a blank. I just don't have anything to say tonight.

nite.

I have this co-worker....

2008-07-28T23:04:00.012-04:00

who just about fell off his chair yesterday when I told him that I just realized I forgot to change the oil in my car....for 30 THOUSAND miles. *cough*

"Come on! Changing oil is a MAN'S job!" That was my reply. He looked at me with a blank stare. Heh. Ok, so I have neglected the car but It's STILL RUNNING...DUH.

Ok, seriously, the tags expire on 7/31/08 and I was going to drop the car off tonight at the garage to be inspected tomorrow and have the oil changed. My co-worker saw me in the parking lot today and gave me heck about it not being done yet. "Your car is going to break down on you while you're on the highway!", He said.
I was like, whatever...I'M GETTING IT DONE TOMORROW.

You know where this is going, don't you? Uh huh. Hunk of Junk broke down on me tonight. On the highway. No, I'm not joking. Guess who I thought of first? Dang it. Guess who WON'T hear that I broke down?

Greg came to my rescue. Good thing is I was just pulling into a gas station to fill the sucker up. Now I have $30 of gas and no car! Greg drove it to the garage, 45 min. down the road and I followed in his truck. He thinks it's having problems shifting. The HOLD light kept blinking on and off. For those of you who don't know, the hold button is related to the overdrive thingy.(real technical, huh?) He thought it was the transmission at first. It better not be. I can't afford to fix/replace that!

Just two days ago I said to Greg that my 3 year old car had 76,000 miles on it and that I wanted a new one but there's two major reasons that I won't...

1. My paycheck is different each time and I can't count on any set amount. Commission sucks.
2. It's paid for. Why would I create a new monthly bill for myself when it's still running?

Hopefully it's not a big thing and everything will be ok. Do I believe that? Not on your life! I hate cars.

***********************************************

My feet stink. Ha! Seriously. I'm sitting on the bed with one leg bent and all I smell is feet. Stinky. Do your feet sweat in black shoes? Mine do. If I spend the day in my white tennis shoes, no smell. Black work shoes, stinky!

I have to take the puppies to be dewormed tomorrow. This appointment has been cancelled by me three times and by them once. I will make it tomorrow come hell or high water.

Oh! I found the missing camera....here's some pics of Jacob and Amanda...

late for work...

2008-07-28T08:25:00.001-04:00

Still alive, will post tonight.

Maybe.

I hate it when....

2008-07-19T20:03:00.005-04:00

you wake up from a nap and don't know if it's morning or evening. That just happened to me. I always wake up around 7:15 am. It's my "doggies need to pee" internal alarm. I woke up this evening at that time and couldn't figure out if it was AM or PM. The leftover pizza sitting on the oven gave it away. Kids just ate dinner.

I went to the doctor yesterday and got some medication. I have bronchitis and a sinus infection. I tried working today for two hours but all I accomplished was holding up the wall with my sleepy self. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have more energy. I have to close and can't get out of work. 2pm - 7pm. At least it's not a full 8 hour day.

Shawn is out at a movie with friends. I vaguely remember him coming in the room asking if his female friend who just started driving could drive MY car. WTF. I remember saying something about having to be over 25 to drive my car. It's an insurance clause. It's true but why didn't I just say, "HELL NO!"??? Heh.

Oh the dream I had while asleep! Wow, it was a doozie. I can't even repeat it here. It was VERY X-rated. HA!

I got to see baby Jacob at the metro yesterday. Amanda brought Shawn to me and little bits was there too. He was waving at me and smooching me! I love him. Wish I had my camera with me. He had on this cute little jumper and no socks. He was standing on Amandas lap pretending to drive and beeping the horn and giggling.

Ran out of steam. Bye.

Sick...

2008-07-16T22:19:00.003-04:00

again. Spent the day in bed. Should have been at work. Bah. I ache all over. Coughing. Stuffy head. Screw everything. I stayed in bed except for when a co-worker came by and brought her sister and nephews. The sister, Jackie, is taking the black puppy. She wanted to visit with it and give it toys.

I don't have to work tomorrow so I'll stay in bed again, except for having to take my mom to and from dialysis and later tomorrow evening to pick up Shawn at the metro. His father and I meet there in the parking lot.

I just finished my latest book "I know this much is true"...by Wally Lamb. It's very different than the types of books I'm used to reading. Kinda bumbed though that the end came right in the middle of my being sick and stuck in bed. Now I have nothing to do so here I am. Can't spend much time her though, it's bugging out my tired eyes.

Thomas has been going to Vacation Bible School across the street for the last two days. He is enjoying it alot. He brought me a key chain he made yesterday in "crafts" and today he brought a writing pen, filled with colored sand. Hard to describe...inside, burried in the sand is something he wrote "to God". A request? A prayer? I'm not sure. I was feeling too bad to ask. I am curious though. If Thomas wrote to God, what would he say? Hmmmm....Should I peek? Nah.

The best find of the evening....

2008-07-11T00:37:00.001-04:00

Goodnight.

Freakin' Weird...

2008-07-10T23:40:00.009-04:00

The year was 1984. Chris wasn't quite 2. I was working at my very first job as a bindary worker at a printing press. I met this guy named Robert Barker who I quickly became engaged to. Even bought a dress.

Robert was on his way to becoming an alcoholic. He was shorter than me which we joked about alot. He had a silly haircut, parted on the side like a little boy and had a tatoo on his arm of a barking dog. Get it? Barker...dog. Anyway, Robert couldn't give up his weed, so I gave him up. This song was a hit then. Why is anyones guess, but every time I hear it, I think of Robert.

From the looks of this video, Robert wasn't the only one high on something that year.

Growing Pains...

2008-07-10T19:49:00.004-04:00

The youth group at the church across the street has been hanging out each evening at 7pm. They have invite Thomas over several times and last night he and the next door neighbor hung out with them. They are 6th - 8th graders. Thomas will be in 6th grade this September.

Tonight his friend was not home and he didn't want to go across the street alone. Right after dinner, the teens started playing a game of baseball, with kidie pools filled with water as bases. Thomas asked if he could go over and ride his bike.

I knew the real reason he wanted to go was to see what was up. Sure enough, about 10 minutes into his "ride", he ended up on the porch looking down at the kids. Turns out the neighborhood kid was already there.

Here's the view from my front door. I hope he gains enough confidence to enter the yard and play with them.

Music...

2008-07-08T09:55:00.004-04:00

I added popup players on the side bar. I saw one on another blog and thought I'd try it out. My taste in music is weird. I like a little bit of everything, except rap, so the selection is going to be all over the place. I don't have much there. I was doing other things with my iPod while selecting songs for it. I was drawing a blank on songs to add so I'll have to do it as they come to me. My brain is on overload right now.

Got alot going on. Puppies that are starting to move around worry me because I don't want them messing the carpet. Especially after the arguement I had with my landlord the first week I arrived. Which brings me to the landlord...he doesn't know there's 4 puppies here! If he finds out, I'm in the shit, as Gordon Ramsey would say. (He's the chef on TV that knows his stuff but has a major potty mouth.)

Anyway, my stomach hasn't been right since Greg and I parted ways. A co-worker said I look like I'm losing weight. That's a good thing for me arse, but not for the rest of me.

I am on my THIRD weed eater. I purchased one that was a crap battery opperated one and returned it for a gas version. It wouldn't spin at the bottom so I returned that! The third one starts for about 10 seconds and stops! The grass along the road is about a foot high now and the landlord will be on my case in a matter of days. So, I'm stressing about that. I made a comment to my co-workers that maybe God is trying to send me a message..."Hire someone to do the weed eating. If you do it, a car will come along and splatter you on the road!" There's alot of traffic up and down and the bastards speed. I don't want to be splattered on the road, but then again, I wouldn't have to worry about puppies, weed eaters or nasty landlords. Heh. (By the way, I don't really think God is sending me weed eater messages.)

Amanda had to get a protective order against Jacobs father last week and I had to go to court with her. There was drama in the hall when the grandmother made a comment that I didn't let slide. "You really want to have this conversation HERE?", I said. "Ok, we'll have it here...." Then I let loose. Bitch. She doesn't have a clue of the harrassment her son has been giving my daughter. Don't mess with my kids. I'll kick yer ass.

I'm so stressed it's sickening. Literally.

I have to go do stuff on my day off. I slept in as long as I could. Groceries, dermatologist for Shawn, etc. I was going to go one way into a certain town today for something but can't for the life of me remember why. It's bugging the hell out of me because it was important! Guess I'll go the opposite way and do the rest of my errands.

Came across this song this morning. No video, thank goodness. They usually suck.

Peace.....Rich Mullins

2008-07-07T23:23:00.000-04:00

To my friend who is facing another storm. I wish you peace.

Though we're strangers, still I love you
I love you more than your mask
And you know you have to trust this to be true
And I know that's much to ask
But lay down your fears, come and join this feast
He has called us here, you and me

And may peace rain down from Heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls
This drought has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In the Bread and in this Wine
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you

And though I love you, still we're strangers
Prisoners in these lonely hearts
And though our blindness separates us
Still His light shines in the dark

And His outstretched arms are still strong enough to reach
Behind these prison bars to set us free

So may peace rain down from Heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls the drought has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In this Bread and in this Wine
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you

And may peace rain down from Heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Like those little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls the draught has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In the Bread and in this Wine
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you

He Walked A Mile...Clay Crosse

2008-07-05T22:56:00.001-04:00

He's My Son...Mark Shultz

2008-07-05T00:45:00.001-04:00

Testing Playlist...

2008-07-04T16:59:00.000-04:00

just ignore it...i'm working on it now.

New Link...

2008-07-02T21:37:00.003-04:00

for those who think my pups are as cute as I do...there's a new link in the list of blogs I read.

Carnival Fun...

2008-06-30T22:05:00.009-04:00

We took Thomas and Jacob to the local carnival on Friday night. Here are Amanda and Jacob waiting in line for the merry-go-round.

Amanda and Jacob on the merry-go-round.

Only took a minute for Jacob to decide he didn't like the horse.

If my mother put me on a ride with faces on it like this, I'd be scared too.

Jacob was more interested in my keys than the goings on at the carnival.

This is Thomas and Amanda on the Scrambler. All of the pics I took are blurry. This was the best one.

I have company!

2008-06-28T01:19:00.009-04:00

I drove to Maryland and brought back two of my favorite people! Amanda and Jacob. Here he is in his car seat eating a vienna sausage. Nasty things...blech.

On the way home we stopped by my brothers house. Here's Jacob impressing them with his walking which he started two days ago!

Standing at my brothers fireplace.

Amanda and Thomas went to the store so Jacob and I gathered up some kitchen stuff and sat on the bed. Measuring cups/bowl and salad spoons work great for keeping a baby busy. We turned on some songs on youtube and had crackers. It was great fun. I had several videos of him "dancing" but when I played them back, I found that I was singing to the songs in some places. I'll have to take more tomorrow and keep my mouth shut!