To my friend, Kevin...

My friend Kevin, who I met online almost 12 years ago, is fighting for his life in a hospital in Canada. After several battles with cancer, the cancer has finally taken over and he isn't expected to live but a few days. I spent the first few days crying, every time I thought of him, and now I'm left with the memories of our chats and his blog posts. I never met Kevin in person, nevertheless, he's still my friend. I've laughed with him, joked with him, and I've been angry at him. I understand that those who are his family and friends who know him personally, know him best. The things I say here today are from my experiences with the Kevin I know, the Kevin he chose to show me.

Our converstaions usually started with catching up on each others family. He'd always ask about my children. He'd always comment about our ages and how things are getting crazier in this world. The conversation usually gravitated toward God. I felt like Kevin was searching for something, even though he swore he had it all figured out and didn't need any God in his life. Even though he sometimes said he didn't believe, I knew that deep down he did, and he would sometimes slip in a "Marsha, I really do believe" now and again. It made me feel good when he said that he had been going to church, in one of his blog posts.

I believe that when Kevin passes from this life to the next, he will be in the presence of our Lord. (And then he'll realize that I was right and have a good "larf". lol) He will be greeted by those that went before him, especially his dad.

Kevin is different from alot of people I know. He is a little on the "odd" side. Somtimes I had trouble following his train of thought and had to ask questions to figure him out, lol. He is a smart, crazy, complicated, frustrating at times, nut! lol. He cares tremendously about his family, especially his young nephew, Julian. He loves that boy like he was his own. I hope and pray that Julian holds tight to the memories of his silly uncle. I wish I had more than these memories to add to the memory book the family is putting together for Julian.

I will miss Kevin alot and wish like hell I could be there by his side to say goodbye. My heart is breaking for him and for his family that will be left to go on without him.

Kevin, This life is short compared to what's to come. I will see you face to face one day and I will hug you and thank you for being my friend. I hope there's a bicycle waiting for you and a pair of sunglasses. I'm sure we'll find you one day hanging out with your dad and making jokes that no one else gets, lol.

To Kevin's family, I hope and pray that God gives you the strength and peace you will need for the days ahead. This life is but a vapor on the wind, compared to the eternity we will have once we pass on. This is not the end...it's only the beginning....


This poem was in Thursday's paper. My son's 16 year old friend was killed in a car accident and this poem was read at his memorial by his mother.

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
And each time you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand.

He said my place is ready, in heaven far above,
and that I have to leave behind, All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for, so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I realized, that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldy things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home,
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne.

He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you.
Today for life on earth is past, but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
And since each day is the same day, there's no longing for the past.

Because you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true,
Though there were times you did some things, you knew you shouldn't do,
You have been forgiven and now at last you're free,
So won't you take my hand, and share my life with me?"

So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me, I'm right there in your heart.